There was a time when I was I was roleplaying with a chick who was younger than me. It was pretty chill at first since we weren't doing much OOC posts. She wasn't my favorite on the forum to roleplay with because she forced me to decide ideas and keep the plot going. However, I never really complained because it wasn't a big deal. But she ruined my "like-meter" scale for her whenever I made a new character. Some of you may have already figured this out. Some of you haven't yet, and for those of you who haven't, let me explain more thoroughly. I would make a new character, have no relationship plans for this character, and then get an message. What was the message you ask? The message was about how one of her many, many characters would be the perfect match for my newly made character.
She did it roughly 8 times on that forum, and then 3 other times on a different one. That's crossing a line, not just for me but for anyone. And if you're a sucker like I am, then you go along with their request and ruin your brand new charrie because they technically don't interact with others when in an relationship thread. If you're a person who has dealt with something like that, or has done it before, then you may want to use/share this lesson on etiquette for RPing and even on interaction through the internet.
INTRODUCTION:
Internet etiquette, also known as netiquette, is majorly important if you're going to roleplay. You will be roleplaying with people, and people like to be respected. Would you roleplay with someone if they were harassing you and continually giving you negative feedback about the stupidest things? No, you wouldn't. And if you answered yes to that, then find yourself a sadist because you're obviously a masochist. When interacting with people, be sure to be polite. Especially when roleplaying with others. There is a difference in netiquette and RP-etiquette, but you'll have to know both of them to enjoy yourself, the experience and have people like you. Since this is an important topic, I'll go over netiquette first, and in my next post it will be about RP-etiquette.
Netiquette is like the etiquette you never learned as a child-because public schools have gone downhill- but refers to internet interactions. It focuses more on the private conversations you have with people, the OOC conversations, how you treat others and how others treat you, and being polite/respectful. Hopefully none of you really need to read this, but it never hurts to make sure you're being a courteous RPer.
NETIQUETTE:
Being Polite and Respectful:
First thing you have to be is respectful. You'll find that the people you will be RPing with will be from all different kinds of background, cultures, religions, ethnicity, sexual orientations and so much more. There may be a controversy between what you like and what they like, and arguments could arise. If you allow them to. All you got to do is accept the fact that they're not exactly like you and respect their opinions. This may involve you having an open mind. Sounds difficult, I'm sure, but it really isn't. Try to respect and understand their opinion to show that you respect them.
There are some topics that you should try to stray away from if this is the first time talking to the person out of RP or if you know you can't keep an open mind. These topics are politics, religion, immigration, homosexuality and stereotypes. If you and the person are comfortable with one another, and have plenty of private messages or OOC chats, you probably know what you two can debate or talk about. Every once in awhile, you may have to be the open person to joke about stuff, because everyone loves humor, and if they joke about it with you then most likely that's a safe topic to discuss. As your RP relationship grows with them, so will your personal relationship with them.
Being polite is different than being respectful. To be polite, you have to be nice to the other person. You can criticize them on their roleplaying skills, but you cannot be brutally honest. Do the constructive criticism "sandwiching" method, or don't be harsh with your words. Sometimes to be polite all you gotta do is greet them.
Greetings/OOC Conversations:
To begin roleplaying with someone, you gotta greet and ask them to RP with you. Believe it or not, there's actually a right way to do this. If you want to roleplay with someone, and make sure it's not an inconvenience if they go into a new roleplay, you're going to have to stalk them. Perhaps "stalk" is a bit strong for a word, but it's basically what you have to do. Stalk the roleplays they are in. Read about their characters. Then think if it would benefit them if they RPed with you. Are you online when they are? Can you match their skill or are you a fast learner? Do you write in the same POV as them? Are you creative and can keep the plot going? Do you have a really interesting character that is a parallel or character foil to one of their characters? Are they asking random strangers to RP with them? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then hit them up because they would most likely say yes to your request.
First off, when sending them a message, don't make the topic sound like you're insecure. Your message should not look like this:
Topic: umm i have a question to ask you....
Body: um hi. i was just wonderin if you would rp with me because
your really good at rping and i really like your character
zackary and think hed be good with my character
bethany cuz she kinda needs a bf and yeah......
so if you can rp with me please message me back
and if you cant well then thats ok i guess......
What was that load of crap? You sound insecure and unsure, and cliche since you're just trying to find your character a date. Never write messages like that. If they have any maturity then they will quickly dismiss you as a newb and will most likely recline your request, or pity you and do a half-hearted RP with you. You want to impress whoever you're asking to RP with you, and to do that you have to sound confident but not too intimidating. Here's a good example to try out and give your own flare:
Topic: Hey!
Body: Hey, I was just wondering if sometime we could do an
RP together. I have a new character I'd like to try out
named Bethany (she's a shape-shifter) and was thinking
that your supernatural hunter Zackary might be a cool
character for her to brawl with. If you're not too busy
with your other RPs, I'd like to discuss plot ideas
with you and see where we could go with these two
characters or others. Thanks for reading this, have
a great day. (:
See how friendly and open that is compared to the first one? Writing something like that makes you sound confident about your RP skills and creativity. You also suggest a preference who you want your character to be in an plot with, but then add in that if they want to use a different character they are more than welcomed to. Also, adding in a discussion of plot can give the two of you some interaction and maybe have an OOC conversation.
OOC conversations are important. Getting to know people and have others know you will help you RP with others. People talk about who's good and who isn't, and if you're buddies with someone who is good then you will be known as a good roleplayer. It's sad to say, but roleplaying has it's own cliques. Which is why in my intro to roleplaying I gave you advice and examples on how to RP the best way possible without daunting people. You're going to want to have OOC conversations, and you can talk about a number of things.
Does one of the person's characters remind you of another character from a book/movie/TV series? If so, just ask them if they've ever read/seen whatever you think their character is based on. This helps you guys share interests and other things like dislikes. Sometimes having a major OOC conversation during an RP discussion/post/thread can be distracting or infuriate the person. Try to have OOC conversations through messages, or during your roleplay you can mention/comment something OOC here and there.
Replying To Messages/Giving Out Notices:
It's rude to not reply back to a message. Even if you don't want to RP with the person, just tell them. Having them wait a few days for an answer is a bit harsh. If you don't want to tell them no flat out, then make up an excuse. I hate to be teaching you guys how to lie, but sometimes excuses soften their fall. If they want to have a relationship between their character (which you just hate for some off reason) with your character (who happens to be your favorite), just tell them you have other plans for that character with someone else. Or say that you're currently in too many RPs and you won't be using that character for a while, or just say you're on a hiatus with that character. It's a nice way of telling them no, and they won't think of you as jerk when you reject them.
Also, if you're going to be gone a few days, let someone know. You don't have to make a big deal out of it, but don't let them think you got abducted by aliens or something crazy like that. If you're bored with roleplaying then tell them you're taking a break from it and currently your RPs will be postponed. If you're going on vacation, then say how many days you'll be gone. It's just the polite thing to do so people aren't waiting for you to reply. It will also keep a bunch of people from messaging you or commenting on your stuff to figure out what's wrong or where you are. And trust me, you don't need that kind of spam when you come back from your vacation/hiatus.
Favoritism/Corrections:
Favoritism will cause jealousy. I've had a situation where two RPers literally fought over my love. It was beautiful- I felt so needed, and enthralled that I was so special to them. And then I became extremely annoyed with their constant bickering and did a Gandhi and had a major RP hiatus. It taught them a lesson and they actually became RP buddies after I forced-- I mean asked them to play nicely with one another. Now imagine if I had picked one over the other. The one I picked would get a big head, and the one I didn't pick would hate the one I picked even more. I've seen it happen plenty of times. It causes lots of drama and hate groups. Showing open favoritism is bad. I mentioned the RPing cliques, and yeah you want to be in the big kid group, but when they pick RPers over you, it's gonna hurt. So don't show favoritism. Show friendships instead, and try to keep away from statements like: These are my favorite RPers because yada yada yada.
Corrections will also cause drama. If you correct someone nicely they won't be butt hurt, but many times people will get butt hurt- even if you have a point or if you're right and they're wrong! So if you can, don't correct others if you're on their level. You can offer suggestions of improvement but don't actually say what they do wrong. If they ask you how they can improve, then give them a list of their flaws, but give them a list of their abilities as well. And even if you are above them in rank, try not to correct people who are trying their best. If you want them to improve, sometimes RPing with them is all they need to realize how to RP well.
Drama/Not Being Afraid To Block:
Moderators and administrators can help eliminate drama between some users. However, cyber bullying is a big problem in America. There's a big search going on in my school about a facebook group with obvious fake accounts that were cyber bullying the students. Cyber bullying is disgusting, and if anyone is doing it to you, let someone know. Save the messages they send you, or have witnesses defend you, and get them banned. Do whatever you have to so that you're safe- but don't overreact if they're rude to you or cold. Moderators and administrators are sort of like a biased judge who pities the victim, so you already have a lot on your side if you're actually being bullied, but don't try to abuse it. If it's serious, affecting your self esteem or giving you depression, then get them banned. But if they just occasionally piss you off, then ignore it or ignore them.
When drama is happening on a forum or in a chatroom, it's because two RPers got fed up with each other. Sometimes they'll try to drag other people into it. If that is happening, then STAY OUT OF IT! You probably get enough drama on social media, school, and at home- so why would you want drama on your RP site that is probably your escape to leave those other dramas? Having drama in a community makes things uncomfortable and can create rifts between people, especially if people are picking sides. Staying neutral is your best bet to not piss someone off. Then again, most RPers are females and it's very easy to piss them off.
If a user is constantly creating drama or trolling you or others, don't be afraid to block them. Blocking them is the polite thing to do. You don't want to be in an internet war. I was once, and it lasted 7 months. SEVEN FRICKIN MONTHS! That is too long to be fighting with someone, and then you can stalk them and get angry for the dumbest things like if they used the same picture as one of your characters, used the same name was one of your characters, or create an exact replica of your character. Or vice versa. Anything they do will make you angry, and whatever you do will make them angry. Which is why you should just block them. If the solution is as easy as blocking them then there is no need to inform a moderator or administrator. You may think that blocking them means they win, but that's not true. You win because you became the mature one and decided to not let it drag out for 7 months or more. If it's a petty fight, try to make a friend instead of an enemy, but if the fight seems like it'll never end then just block them. It may be the best decision you ever make in your RPing career.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
That's it for netiquette that relates to roleplaying. I'll go over over roleplaying etiquette because that goes with the rules of roleplaying, god-modding, power playing and all that other good stuff. Hopefully this is helpful to you, and wasn't too long. I tried adding pictures to break up the block of text, so I'm hoping my posts are getting easier on the eyes. It's my first blog guys, I'm figuring it out bit by bit.
Anyhow, if this was helpful to you or could be helpful to someone else, share this blog. Subscribe to it. Read it. Or at least keep checking it out. I'm going into a wide range or topics, and you never know which one will be useful to you. Give me suggestions, comments, questions, complaints or suggest an RP community for me to look at. On weekends, I've decided to do one critique of a certain website, and try to post 2 to 3 information topics. But since I'm on a roll this week, there will be 5 topics. After the roleplaying etiquette I'm thinking about going into a comparison of small communities and large communities.
So remember all you TL;DR (which is actually very rude to write on someone's post), be polite, respective others and their opinion/culture/whatever else, block people if necessary, if you are being bullied inform the site administrator or moderator, reply to your messages, let people know if you're taking a break from RPing, greet people, write confident messages, don't pick favorites, correct people if they ask for it, and stay out of community drama.
And with that, I'm out!
-SC
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